Fellow Pop Culture lovers- ever feel just uninspired by this thing that we love so???  I’m finding E! News to be drab, and even though hiding Kim Kardashian stories from my Facebook news feed has downgraded itself to a part time job from a full time job, it’s still annoying.  Music has become drab and uniform, and television has become so inundated with SHIT that I’ve succumb to letting my daughter have remote control & watch Nick Jr. whenever we have television time.  I’d almost rather. 

 

Let me get one thing straight for all of you “Kardashian Dolls”- the ENTIRE family is only famous because Kim BLEW Ray J.  Fact.  A scandal broke, and their blood sucking opportunistic mother cashed in on it, and now because of that an empire was built.  On a blow job.  If I only knew it was that easy, I would’ve dropped out of “kollege.” 

 

I heard that when all of the wedding hoopla was going on, Ray J was in a club, raising his glass, saying “yeah, I did that.”  Well, his dick helped her surpass even his fame, and the orgasm of opportunity has shot all over the place- Kardashian Kollection, Kardashian Kredit Kards, Kardashian perfume, Kardashian diet pills- people want to be them, see them, look like them.  Because of a voyeuristic whore.  I just want everyone to keep that in their minds next time you let your kids say those are their role models.  Shrewd businesswomen- yes.  Whores- yes.  But you don’t have to be both! 

 

*note- after I saved this draft to edit later in the day, I see on the front page of Yahoo! this gorgeous headline:

Haters Launch Petition to Take the Kardashians Off Television

 

What perfect timing.  I will stop writing about my disdain of the Kardashians now, because I seemingly no longer have to since it has its own movement!  Though I would like to clarify that I don’t have personal feelings of hate towards people I don’t or never will know. The simple fact of the matter is that they’ve chosen to live life in such a public manner that it puts me in the position to criticize them however I deem appropriate. 

 

But with the explosion of reality TV taking over the airwaves, there is a lack of good quality television.  I love reality TV, and I was a religious watcher of such high quality television such as Flavor of Love & it’s I Love New York spinoff, Rock of Love (1 & 2, and then the Rock of Love Bus), though now reality TV has exploded outside of this little niche of VH1 produced trash.  There is a reality show about EVERYTHING- pawn shops, hog wranglers, lady hog wranglers, people who buy abandoned storage lockers, border jumpers, junkies, bad in-laws (or outlaws, as I like to call myself!)- and that’s just A&E!  Remember back in the 90’s when The Real World was new and innovative, and we all used to die over it???  I remember my sophomore year of college (waaaay back in the year 2000) standing in line for HOURS outside of Jillian’s in Boston to audition for The Real World: Back to New York season, and while I obviously didn’t make it, a girl that was in my group (Lori) did.  I didn’t know her, but I wondered for a while what they saw in her that made her so much cooler than me to make it through to actually be on the show.  In hindsight, it’s a great thing I actually never made it on reality television because I would’ve embarrassed myself and shamed my family.  The unofficial motto of my entire life has been “live out loud,” so what you see is what you get- I don’t do well with fake, passive aggressive people, and I have little to no filter on what comes out of my mouth.  That would’ve been a very bad combination of repercussions for a 19 year old girl on national television still trying to find herself, though I would’ve made great television!  I still secretly on the inside want my own reality TV show.  Maybe someday camera’s will follow me around chronicling my wildly successful life, who knows? 

 

And what we are missing in television is lacking even more so on the big screen- Harry Potter and Twilight are these international unstoppable phenomenon’s, and even though everyone I know is dying over this stuff, I just cannot get onboard. I had a friend say to me last week, and I quote: “My obsession with a teenage vampire love story is more acceptable than your BSB obsession. FACT!”  And again, I died a little inside, knowing that she was right.  But is this REALLY what entertainment in pop culture has come to!?!?!?!  Teenage vampires and werewolves’, and Quiddich???  My bestie’s niece told me last week my alma matter now has a Quiddich team!!!!  The pop phenomenon of Harry Potter is so broad that it’s even affecting the public school systems!?!?!  I cannot wrap my head around it. I just don’t even know about these topic matters are SO interesting that they are causing these mass movements.  I tried to watch Harry Potter, and the premise escapes me; I won’t even dare go anywhere near Twilight!!!

 

Even though I deem myself a pop culture juggernaut, I tend to rebel against the popular thing, resisting the bandwagon for as long as humanly possible.  For example, Twitter.  I have been ignoring Twitter invites for years, and it just became so mainstream so quickly that there couldn’t have been anything substantial to it.  You know what got me on Twitter?  The Backstreet Boys.  I have been missing out on SO much information as far as the cruise, shows, dates, meet and greets that when I finally got there, I looked at my best friend (even more anti mainstream than I) and shouted “why the HELL did we wait so long!?!?!!”  But I also have a fear of cruise ships, and alas, I’ll be boarding one in less than 2 weeks thanks to them!  Twitter is better than E! News- hell, its where they are getting their news from,  and there’s nothing like getting it right from the horse’s mouth!  Twitter has had the best social media evolution ever!  And its in such stark contrast to Facebook, which is a refreshing change… especially with the increasing lack of privacy on Facebook making its appeal less and less.

 

The worst part of the lack of quality entertainment is you can’t even find what you’re missing from television or movies in music.  Music SUCKS right now, and has since about 2003.  It’s funny that I cling to my love of the Backstreet Boys like I do, because believe it or not, I grew up loving Rock & R&B, and once my love for NKOTB died down in the 5th grade, I gravitated away from the pop mainstream.  In 8th grade, people didn’t know my name, but everyone called me “Green Day” because I wore their band t-shirts 4 out of 5 days of the week.  But even they entered the new millennium, put on some skinny jeans and let me down.  I feel like there is direct correlation of when men starting to wear eyeliner and skinny jeans and when music started to go downhill (with the exception of AJ McLean, he’s always worn creepy clothes and guy liner!).  Now, when you turn on the radio, it’s the same song no matter what the station.  A generic R&B or Pop song with a house beat in it somewhere, or Adele.  Adele wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to hear her on EVERY station simultaneously every single time I’m in the car!!! Enough, your songs have gone from endearing to whiny and offensive in a matter of minutes, it’s no wonder your boyfriend left you!!!!  SHUT UP!

 

While I left the world of “musical substance” for pop melodies a long time ago, the quality of what is on the radio these days is just deplorable- Katy Perry? She makes me want to rip my ears off.  There was hope for her when she 1st started out, ”I Kissed A Girl” was edgy pop rock, but that was it.  It’s all been downhill from there.  I was HORRIFIED to hear my 3 year old singing the words to that Friday night song of hers- I was immediately incensed and looking to lynch whomever the person was that was exposing my precious baby’s ears to this garbage.  Well, its her preschool, playing “Kid’s Bop” CD’s at recess.  REALLY!?!?!??!!  I’m not going to lie, I had a fleeting moment where I wanted to withdraw her… But, I digress. The tremendous benefits of my daughter’s school actually outweigh their one bad decision to play Kid’s Bop CD by a TON, so I ate my disdain.  You win round 1, Katy Perry, but this isn’t over. 

 

I tried to go back to my Rock & R&B roots, but even they’re corrupt and deplorable- I feel like the genre of R&B is becoming obsolete, being dominated by senseless rap songs that sample (and ruin) all of the great songs of our youth.  And someone, anyone, try to find me a current ROCK song.  It doesn’t exist.

 

In my world where pop culture is king, I’m finding it harder and harder to find something (or someone) to hang my crown on.  Britney, at least, is still my reigning queen, giving me a glimmer of hope that all isn’t lost.  But the harsh reality is as I look back on the last decade or so of my life that it isn’t 1999 anymore.  Sigh.