For any of my near and dear reading this, you know that I’m embarking on week 3 of an upper respiratory infection, and am reluctant to go back to the doctor for MORE antibiotics since they have unfriendly feminine side effects (use your imagination, but it’s not pleasant). After updating my Facebook status with “still sicky” and getting a flood of "AGAIN??" comments, I realized that I’ve been awfully sick this past year.
After I went to the Bon Jovi concert in March, I had strep for TWO MONTHS. Yes, the antibiotic resistant strain that just wouldn’t go away, and created an unpleasant rash all over my stomach. My husband loved it, because there’s nothing sexier than a wife covered in red bumps and scratch marks- meow! Then I got the fucking FLU after going to NKOTBSB at the Boston Garden, leaving me on antibiotics AGAIN for NKOTBSB at Fenway exactly a week later. Which, by the way, was outside in the pouring rain in 58 degree weather. Aaaahh, New England in the Summer :-) Now, a few months later on a girls night of mild sin and debauchery in Boston, where we partook in a lovely tapas & sangria dinner then went to a drag show (a newer aspect of pop culture that was thoroughly enjoyed by all), it was as soon as ON THE WAY HOME that I started feeling sick- and not the drank too much sick. It was the start of this lovely 3 week germ journey I’ve been on.
Last night, after I huffed and puffed my way through a Circuit Boot Camp class till I thought my lungs were going to burst, it dawned on me- is my affinity for all things Pop Culture, dare I say it, making me ILL???? Every time I venture out of my new homemaker/breadwinner/mommy bubble to quench my thirst for all things kitschy and celebrity, I catch something. Did getting domesticated take away the ability for my immune system to fight off the cruddy germs that linger in seedy clubs and mosh pits?? You would think that being the mother of a preschooler, I would carry an invisible superhero shield, making me stronger than ever to repel germs and ickiness. But nope…. whenever I leave the comforts of my day to day to recapture a piece of the world I love and was once fully immersed in, this happens. Is it because I’ve reclassified my relationship with Tequila from frequent to occasional?? Is my affinity for all things pop culture actually my illness?????
This obviously very logical frame of thinking leads me to this very frightening thought- what is going to happen when I go on the Backstreet Boys Cruise?? Is it not only going to drain my bank account, but send me home with the bubonic plague???? Not only will there be American germs there, but Canadian germs, Mexican germs, South American, Northern European, and Australian germs as well!!! If I cant fight off the germs in my own country, how am I going to combat foreign ones? Am I going to end up the mommy in a bubble because my inner 16 year old can’t get enough???
I hope not. I hate being sick enough that I’d take a cup of Theraflu over coffee. I never want to have to kick this pop culture habit because the joy it brings me overtakes the illness I endure. I hope that I am able to kick this shit before I board the S.S. Backstreet in 28 days, and I hope that I don’t come home with the bird flu or something else comparably awful. And if I do, it better be worth it. Because seeing Bon Jovi with his brilliant white smile was worth the two months of strep (even from the nosebleeds), seeing Donnie Walhberg’s delicious delicious body take over Boston Garden was worth it, seeing NKOTBSB use the penis stage as a slip and slide in the pouring rain AT FENWAY PARK was more than worth it, and watching my besties get groped by drag queens was definitely worth it!
And until then, I have a date with some apple cider and Vitamin C…