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I wanted a memoir and got a self help book

The famous in my own mind love of my life,  Nick Carter of Backstreet Boys fame,  wrote a book. Honestly, I didn’t even know until i saw someone post a pic of their copy on Instagram… and honestly??? I wasnt running out to buy it… Until I saw his  interview on Dr. Phil about it. He was so OPEN, and candid right off about *Very Personal* subject matter that I became BEYOND intrigued.  This girl LOVES herself a good memoir. Wasnt able to buy on Google Books on the Play Store, so I had to download the Nook app to purchase and download to read… and NOT what I was expecting AT ALL.

He does reveal some scathing details about his parents, his childhood, and how he was raised. But guess what? Everybody comes from a dysfunctional family. Get over it. My childhood would make his blush,  but you don’t see me referencing it as justification for any of my past indiscretions.  He said he’s not blaming his parents, but he obviously is. Then he tried to sugar coat his own actions, and the rest of it is self help ish, bordering churchy. He says a lot of things like “in books I’ve read it says” and “my therapist tells me” that you wonder what exactly qualifies him to be writing such a book.  The self help aspects are so general they’re generic, and have this “golly gosh darnit” kind of quality to the tone is written in that you wonder how anyone coming out of a hard core substance addiction,  like he has,  could possibly ever relate to the subject matter. This books major problem is it LACKS CONTENT. 

This, coming from someone whose major life goal once was to have his blonde babies some day!

Losing The Battle

I’m kind of fucked up over the news of Cory Monteith’s death. I can’t decide if it’s because he was so young, because it was so unexpected, or because of the implicated cause. I think it’s a combination of the three, honestly. I don’t know. I keep seeking news updates on it, but it makes my heart really heavy so I have to stop reading about it. And the implication that drug use may be to blame really breaks my heart. If you’ve had your life affected by drug use or someone close to you that struggles with addiction, you may understand the sadness I’m carrying for a complete stranger. He was a well-known personality, but I have no idea who Cory Monteith was personally. I only knew Finn Hudson, pre-high school graduation, and those are two totally different people.

He was 31 years old. I’m 31 years old. In many ways, my life is just beginning. Not to elevate my presence and impact in this world, but it would rob so many of so much if I were to die tomorrow. And I’m certainly not a famous celebrity, but I’ve got a lot left to accomplish. I think of Lea Michele at this time… if my significant other unexpectedly died, my life would be shattered. I would shatter. The empathy I feel for her right now is a real thing, compounding the inexplicable emotion this entire thing has evoked in me.

I was hardcore into Glee the first two seasons, and my lust lay with Mark Salling (Puck). I mean, he is a hot piece of ass. Cory Monteith’s character (Finn) just wasn’t my cup of tea in that department; it was nothing personal. I’ve always fancied those bad boys, in fantasy and reality. But in 2011 Cory did an article with Parade Magazine that I stumbled across in my Sunday newspaper couponing (I know, I lead such an exciting life), and it really affected me. He talked about struggling with drug use in his teenage years, and really championed a positive message about overcoming addiction and finding your destiny. I was truly touched, and inspired. He was candid, honest, and made no excuses. It was an uplifting story that stuck with me, too often we don’t hear about people overcoming substance abuse and having such an amazing life turnaround. It gave me immense hope for the people I know – past and present – that struggle with addiction, and are still struggling.

I haven’t ever met one person that has won the battle completely. I don’t know that one ever does. When I heard he went to rehab earlier this year, it tugged at my heart strings a little bit, but I know that willing yourself to get help is a step in the right direction.

Sounds weird, but I feel like a little bit of the hope he represented to me for my loved ones that struggle died a little bit with him. Another one lost the battle. I also feel that people who turn to drugs in the first place are using it as a form of escapism, to feel something or to stop feeling. So I hope in his after life that Cory Monteith finds peace from the demons that were haunting him.

June 25th

Today is like the day of events for someone so pop culture oriented as myself. Well, actually, its just an action packed day in general.  My car payments are due. My daughter has her first field trip. The guy I lost my virginity to’s birthday is today (true story folks, I really remember the weirdest shit). But most notably, it’s the 4 year anniversary of the passing of two icons, Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett.  Well, its the day Michael Jackson’s passing overshadowed Farrah Fawcett’s passing, which is really a shame for her own legacy, as she had a long and memorable acting career, though she’ll always be Charlie’s Angel to us <3.  

Michael was, and still is, a legend who forever changed the face of popular culture. He charmed his way into  childhood hearts of the 70’s as the cute young one in the Jackson 5, he revolutionized the art of music videos with mini movies like “Thriller” and “Bad,” and the obsession with his personal life and odd behaviors ushered in this new age of paparazzi and tabloid reporting.  I remember where I was when he died (it’s like my 2009 version of “where were you when JFK was shot,”), though it was nowhere exciting folks- I was waiting in the car for my husband to come out of the grocery store, surfing Facebook on my phone when it popped into my news feed. I thought it was a joke, so I started calling people to turn on their TV’s, and unfortunately that wasn’t the case. MTV, a station that pioneered the art of music videos which no longer played music videos, played nothing but MJ videos for three days straight in a memorial of sorts. I remember having a dance marathon with my newly one year old daughter for most of those three days, and we had such a blast.  It was a bittersweet way of introducing her to music that my brother and I loved so much growing up, and sharing in the awesomeness of it with her.  Como se como sa ma ma cu sa :-(

 

Though their lives controversial, we remember their great contributions to popular culture. RIP.

Pelvic Thrusting and Flailing

I always have a story. Always. But this time, its painful. The only reason I’m sharing is because you’ll all see the extreme humor in my suffering. I, on the other hand, wish the story came without the suffering.

Sunday June 2, 2013 was EPIC. THE PACKAGE TOUR. THE DIRTY DOZEN. Boyz II Men, 98°, & my hometown boys NKOTB brought the mother fucking house down with their mother fucking sexiness. You HAVE TO see NKOTB in Boston, because they always give us MORE. This night was no exception. They were hot. They were sexy. They were pelvic thrusting. And I, as all of you would expect me to be, was half drunk and flailing all over the place in all my regressive teenage glory. And when I say flailing, I mean flailing. Imagine, 5 feet and 11 inches of limbs flying uncontrollably all over the place, accompanied by a scream so shrill it rivals my 4 year old daughters. At one point, I actually peed my freaking pants. Yes, ladies and ladies, I’ll cop to it. I got so excited, I peed. *That actually happens.* The story of what happened when I ran to the nearest mens room to rectify the situation may or may not be worthy of its own blog post. Regardless, that’s a different story for a different day!

So after all the drinking, flailing, pelvic thrusting, and peeing was done, I woke up on Monday a HURTING buckaroo. Sore everywhere, hobbling all over the place, my pinky toe nail was even stomped off. Monday was ROUGH. But so was Tuesday. And I was really sore in my neck, back and shoulders… didn’t sleep at all that night from the discomfort. Today was so bad that I was having problems working at my computer, so I ran to the doc to have it checked out.

So in all my drinking, flailing, and peeing, I pinched a nerve and slipped a disc in my neck. Its so bad that the doctor was amazed that I don’t have a history of neck and back problems. Seriously?????? Because I wanted to rip my clothes off when Joey Mac sang ”Please Don’t Go Girl??” Because all of my limbs flailed like I was having a psychotic episode when 98° broke ”The Hardest Thing” out of their arsenal??? Or was it because when Boyz II Men sang ”Water Runs Dry,” I may or may not have injured my entire row in excitement??? It may have been because Donnie Walhberg started humping the stage and I might have had a blackout of ecstasy…

The doctor got a laugh when I answered his question about how I spent my Sunday. The nurse was jealous!! And I am HURTING. This could be a fairly serious injury here… And if I have to have surgery, I want all members of the self proclaimed ”Dirty Dozen” pelvic thrusting at me in recovery!!!! 10 TIMES!!!!!!!!!! You hear me boys???

Boston Strong

This is a tough one for me to write.

I really don’t know where to begin.  

I’m born and raised in Southcoast Massachusetts towns, but Boston is and will forever be the only place I call my home.  It is the only place in this great nation that I can say I’ve felt “at home.” I miss it every single day. I’m not far but I don’t get there nearly as much as I would like these days, and when I do its usually a quick in and out for a specific reason.  But after fighting my way through 93 traffic to take Exit 18 into the heart of the city, my entire affect changes.  Seeing the bustling streets, oblivious pedestrians, and tall buildings puts an automatic smile on my face.  There is something about this city, on its hottest summer afternoon or coldest winter night that just fills this void sense of belonging within myself.  This city taught me more about life than anything else in my 31 years.  It taught me about loyalty, pride, acceptance, the arts, fashion, and culture.  This city has been one of the great loves of my life, and I know my love affair with it will never die.  

I went to college there, met my husband there, discovered MYSELF there. So when the Boston Marathon Bombings happened on Monday, I took it very personally.  That very spot where the first bomb went off was literally a place I spent the majority of my time at for the better part of three years.  Next to Marathon Sports used to be an Aveda Lifestyle Salon, which I walked into one spring day in 2003 looking for a job, and found SO much more than that.  For $12/hr., I took on a front desk receptionist position at a location where I was definitely a fish out of water.  In my Old Navy dress pants and Payless flats, here’s a girl from Cape Cod working with high maintenance “artists,” all of which who had very large personalities to go along with their very unique and fashionable exteriors. They brutalized me for about 7 months before they realized I wasn’t going anywhere and dialed it back a bit.  I may look average in my own exterior, but I’m anything but.  I’m a lot tougher than I look, and even though I was miserable I stuck it out. That was one of the more interesting jobs I’ve ever had, not a day goes by that I regret walking into that place. The kindness and guidance I was showed by two of my female superiors is something I carry with me daily, and I walked out of that place with friendships with people that are all over the country now, but are part of an intrical support system that has seen me through my darkest days and greatest accomplishments.

So seeing the exact space where I worked, the neighborhood I played in, the place that molded me for the years and experiences to come covered in BLOOD makes me sick to my very core.  I’ve been struggling with what happened at the Boston Marathon for days now, but one of the better ways for me to cope with is was to help my city get back to normal, and thanks to my daughter, I was able to do that.

My 4 year old daughter, a budding hockey enthusiast, entered a drawing contest at her school for Boston Bruins tickets because she (in her own words) didn’t need anyone to give her tickets, she was going to get her own. And indeed she was one of several winners in that drawing contest! That kind of resolve is going to take that girl far in life. Little did she know when she earned those tickets she would be part of history, attending the first major event to happen in Boston after the marathon bombing. Because of her, we got to be a part of helping our city show its resolve to the world as a family. We were part of Boston Strong when we were one of 30,000 people singing our national anthem loud and proud for the fallen, and for the suspects at large. Nothing will break this community, and we let everyone know it. Watching my daughter loudly and proudly chant ”We love Boston” is one of my proudest moments as her mom- she’s got a little bit of Boston in her, too! Walking out of the garden on a warm spring night, feeling the solidarity in the crowd- even amongst state troopers carrying machine guns and surrounded by Homeland Security- was a group of people that wasn’t going to let anything keep then from business as usual, and for me that’s what Boston Strong is all about. The kind of people that run into smoke, not away from it. Bostonians have always known what a tough city this is, and now the rest of the world knows too.

I feel betrayed that the bombers were brothers that lived here for the past ten years, one of them just a child. I don’t care where you’re from, when you’re lived here for that long, you’re one of us. I’m glad they took the younger one alive, and I’m hoping we can get some answers. I’m trying not to have hate in my heart, I’m trying to remember the sign Martin Richard made that’s had me sobbing for days: ”No more hurting people. Peace.”

I’m hoping that we can keep this momentum going, and that humanity for each other prevails in the coming days, weeks, months and years. I hope the One Boston Fund raises so much money that not one single victim of the bombers have to incur any medical expense for the rest of forever. I hope the families of Krystle Campbell, Lingzu Lu, Martin Richard, and Sean Collier do not have to incur a single expense related to putting their loved ones to rest, and that they have the help, support, and guidance to find peace.

I have undying gratitude for the Boston Police Department, Massachusetts State Police, ATF, FBI, National Guard, and all of the other law enforcement agencies that boldly shut the city down and did not rest until the bombers were brought to justice. My heart burst with pride last night when people flooded the streets of Watertown to applaud law enforcement as they passed, and people flocked to the Common to rejoice in celebration, waving American flags. This is a special place, filled with proud people who love their city. A love shared by so many people, who even though may not physically be there, still carry Boston pride in their hearts. Boston will always be my home- it welcomed me in a time where I needed welcoming, just as it welcomes hundreds of thousands of people every single year. This city was and always has been a melting pot of acceptance. This shook us, but nothing can change who we are and what we stand for. We are Boston Strong.

To donate to the One Boston Fund, please visit http://onefundboston.org/

Numb.

Since Mob Wives ended last week, and there was seemingly NOTHING on any other channel at all tonight, my channel surfing landed me at the MTV Movie Awards.

This is what its come to? Seriously? I know that the Movie Awards has always been the red headed step child to the VMAs, but you’d think they get it together in the dozens of years they’ve been putting this show on. When I was a kid (not that long ago ppl), MTV actually was as cool as it paraded itself to be. Tonight I realized I’m not as old as I should be to just NOT GET ANYTHING THAT WAS HAPPENING.

The cast of Pitch Perfect, a movie I’ve never seen, did this baffling musical opener which even the audience looked like they didn’t get. I’m (not) sorry, but Rebel Wilson was eh. We have seen worse, but this is far from the best. I’m also pretty sure MTV just honored people so they would show up. Usually there’s only one major honoree per award show, tonight there were three. Emma Stone received the Breakthrough Award- great that she broke through puberty but did she really need to get an award for that? Will Farrell received the Comedic Genius award, in which he did this awful drawn out speech where I’m sure he offended the entire Asain population and people who get easily offended for Asians; and I forget what they gave Jamie Foxx, but he filled the audience with half of his family- something I’m sure MTV is grateful for.

Two guys I’ve never seen before sang something that sounded remotely familiar, and Selena Gomez lip synched something as lame as the performance that didn’t warrant her actually NOT singing it. Someone should also tell the network that just because the jokes are inappropriate doesn’t mean they’re automatically funny, and I should’ve changed the channel when Seth Rogan depants himself to reveal loads of fake pubic hair and the poor mother of that 9 year old Oscar winner’s (with the crazy name I’m not going to pretend to know) mother jumped to cover her eyes, but I think my brain was too numb at that point to even search for the remote. NUMB. And I just realized that Viacom owns half of cable, which explains why nothing else was on.

Well played, MTV.

The one flash from my youth was the cast of The Fast and Furious. This didn’t get me excited, but it made me feel very sorry for Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Jordana Brewster, and Michelle Rodrigues. 12 years later and you’ve got nothing else going on but the 6th installment of a movie that could only be cool the first time around that you all did it??? Wow. And what mental hospital did Michelle Rodrigues break out of to join her cast?? She looked like she raided Brittney Spears closet via 2003, and didn’t have time to brush her ponytail out after being strapped down to the bed for that long.

They also very strategically waited till the last possible second to play the teaser preview for the next installment of The Hunger Games movies, which is probably what kept their ratings up through the lameness all night, then closed the show with Brad Pitt. He, is a FUCKING TOOL ladies and gentlemen.

Let’s not do that again next year. Goodnight!

Justin Timberlake’s ‘20/20 Experience’

So, I haven’t had the pleasure of the “20/20 Experience” yet, which was released last Tuesdays, but Beth’s Facebook status updates had me wondering… so I asked her to review the album for Pop Culture and Caffeine!  A fellow BSB Fanatic, we also share a lot of other pop culture obsessions, I mean interests, with Mr. Timberlake being one of them.  So without further ado, here is her review, which I’m filing under “Good To Know!” Comment and let us know if you agree with her assessment! - L

First off, the album is 1.1 hours long with just 10 songs.  There are only 3 songs under 7 minutes, the shortest being 4:48.  Not that that’s a bad thing, but the majority of those longer songs all sound like they end and then there’s 2 or 3 more minutes of random dance mix/Justin breaking it down.  I would have rather had more songs on the album than 7 of them sound like they’re the “extended” version.

As far as the songs individually.  I love them!  The first time I listened to the album I was like “wtf, this doesn’t sound like Justin.”  But after listening to it over and over, I realized it’s still him, it’s just been 6 years since he’s come out with anything.  None of these songs can compare to his FutureSex/LoveSounds.  That album had more of a hip/hop feel to it, and this one is just completely different.  There’s a little bit of everything in each of these songs.  I love the “big band” sound in a lot of his songs, as well as the more “poppy” songs.  It’s just a good mix all around.  I love Justin’s slow songs, and there’s only one song that’s extremely slow, “Blue Ocean Floor.”  Even though I could have done without the kind of creepy noises in the background, I absolutely love this song.  His voice just melts your heart.

 Overall, the album is wonderful and I recommend it to any Justin fans.  It may take some getting used to his new “sound” but it’s definitely worth it!  Can’t wait for the rest of them to come out later this fall!

When A TV Show Makes You THAT Mad…!

This is a post for anyone who watches the VH1 reality show Mob Wives. Or Mob Daughters, what I think should be the real name of the show. They are all daughters, nieces, or granddaughters of incarcerated or deceased mob affiliates. Carla’s husband went to jail for white collar crime so I’m not sure what qualifies her as a ”mob wife,” but whatever. The only one that is actually married to anyone with alleged ties to the Mob is Drita, who I’m SOOOO upset with right now.

Drita’s husband went to jail for being a criminal scumbag leaving her to be a single mom and cheated on her. But all is forgotten when he gets close to getting out?!?!?!? What the fuck is that??? I REALLY liked her!! I was Team Drita all the way, when she was being irrational and just punching mother fuckers in the face, I had her back. I know that feeling. I’ve watched the evolution of her becoming more conscious and responsible of her actions, trying to be that example for her daughters. As a mother of a little girl, I had TREMENDOUS respect for that. This season, when she took her daughter to the site of her new cosmetics store and told her she was going to build her a empire, I swelled with pride. That’s what all of us mothers want to for our kids. Plus, the way she went about this was just smart. She capitalized on her popularity, worked quickly and made her dream a reality and started a make up line. SMART.

THEN, it seems like all of the sudden she’s all giddy taking crook cheater’s collect calls from jail, and has a euphoric visit taking her kids to see their dad in federal prison and all is good?? I mean, re read my last sentence. WHAT SOUNDS REMOTELY OKAY ABOUT THAT???? Not a God damn fucking thing. Now the dude is home from jail and I’m nauseated thinking about our strong willed, quick witted fighter becoming crook’s subserviant housewife making sure he doesn’t punch her in the face because all the chairs aren’t in a row.

And I know I sound like a total fucking psycho, but I was really rooting for her and feel let down to watch someone I know (as they are portrayed on TV) as so smart, act like she’s just another stupid girl :-( This ”kids need their dads” line is bullshit. Kids don’t need dads when dads suck at life, ESPECIALLY little girls who look to their parents as the example for how they should be treated. I’m sorry, but they will see someday the cheating and the bullshit and go looking for that because Daddy treated Mommy that way and Mommy dealt with it. Ugh.

I need to stop watching this show. The end.

1,2,3, Not Only You and Me… Now It’s Just Me!

So Britney & Jas have called it quits. We all have heard the rumblings since November, and when she was photographed earlier this week without her engagement ring, I knew it was true. Britney Spears and Jason Trawick are OVA!

My first thought was that this was why she didn’t renew her X Factor contract. That was a Jason decision (for her to be on the show), and that’s why she switched management companies with the break up. Sad that I won’t see my Brit Brit every week, but let’s face facts- she was the shittiest mentor on record. I think they overmedicated her when she got a little too sassy during auditions, and she was just blah for the rest of the season. With bad eye makeup and great cleavage.

My next thought is it’s that sexy videos fault!!! When her and Jas got hot and heavy filming her video for ”Criminal,” it jinxed them. She shouldn’t get on camera with her men, EVER. Didn’t you learn anything from your reality show with KFed????? Even though I enjoyed it all (I’ll admit it, I cried when her and KFed had their secret wedding, and I may or may not have had to take a very long shower after watching that Criminal video), you gotta keep out off film, baby.

So what’s next from my twin sister from another mister born 4 days apart several states away who looks nothing like me??? New music for sure, no more X Factor, but what else? Now that salt and pepper with the hot body is off the conservatorship, are we going back to pink wigs, bare feet in gas stations, and mid day skinny dips??? I hope not, but if you need me girl, I’m here!!!

Ahead of the Curve

Although seemingly average and ordinary, I’m actually a trendsetter and fashion genius.  For those of you who actually know me, you’re thinking “are you fucking delusional?” and as a matter of fact, maybe.  But it’s really true. All my life I’ve been trying to resist this undying urge to be one of the “popular kids.” But when you are freakishly tall, move every 2 years, have no social graces, and have a Brillo pad for hair, it’s just not going to happen for you.  So I immersed myself into books and magazines because I had no actual friends, and I very quickly developed a love affair with fashion magazines.  My bedroom as a pre teen was COVERED with pages and cutouts from every magazine that touted the authority on what was “it” or “hot” at the time.  I remember going into my first day of 7th grade, thinking that everyone was going to be awestruck by my amazing cutting edge fashion sense because I had mirrored my back to school wardrobe to what was in the pages of YM and Seventeen Magazine… and I was literally laughed out of the hallways.  But when I entered 8th grade, why was everyone NOW wearing what they were laughing at me for wearing a year before???  It has always happened that way, my entire life.  The older I got, the less fashion risks I took; my style became classic by default. My social awkwardness developed into a funny quirkiness that many people in my adult life find totally endearing, and as far as fashion goes… I decided its better to have classic pieces that I can mix & match that can withstand the test of time rather than a closet full of trendy clothing that I’ll have to replace every season.  For instance, I was very cautious about things like skinny jeans and leggings- for YEARS I wouldn’t even look their way in stores.  Now they are staples in my everyday wardrobe.  

Fast forward to my adult life.  I’m still ahead of the trends.  For instance, I was rocking Ombre Hair back when people were still calling it regrowth.  I was rolling my jeans up and wearing them with flats way before designers styled “boyfriend jeans” (mostly out of necessity- when you are freakishly tall its hard to find jeans long enough), I was one of the first to take my belly button ring out, and according to the fashion boards on Pinterest, I should’ve kept everything I ever wore in the 90s.  I also have this freakish obsession with anchors, which are now everywhere.  Clothing, tights, and tattoos.  I’m really pissed about that tattoo thing, because I’ve wanted an anchor tattoo for like at least 7 years now. Again, I was ahead of the game, and now when this “fad” passes I will now have another fad tattoo, which pisses me off.  And yes, I have more than one fad tattoo.  The Japanese writing on my back screams 2001 tramp stamp in a loud and obnoxious way, and they fight with my husbands tribal band tattoos that scream 1999 back at them. And, for the record, the tattoo was obtained before the phrase “tramp stamp” was even coined.  I was the ORIGINAL (figurative) tramp. So HA!

Sigh, its just so hard being so cutting edge.     

VM- What!!??!?!

When I was a kid-and even into my adulthood- one of the highlights of the musical year were the MTV Video Music Awards, or VMA’s.  As a pop culture crackhead, its my chance to see my favorite celebrities, what they are wearing, who they are with, and if everyone else loves my music as much as I do.  Last night, even after making mental note after mental note that they were going to be on, I *still* didn’t remember to watch until they were half over (one of the consequences of Mommy Brain), but when I did tune in… what the FUCK!!!!  I didn’t even know who half of those people are.  WHO IS FRANK OCEAN!??!?!?!?  And why were people hollering at his crappy performance???? Some guy named 2Chainz (I don’t even know if I’m spelling that right), and for a while, there were a bunch of tweets on my timeline about how Weezy isn’t same as he used to be… well, I didn’t know who he was before!!!  

I’m not that old, people- I was birthed the same year as this great station we know as MTV.  I basically grew up on the shit.  Legit.  This channel was always controversial and on the cutting edge- it taught me a lot about music, fashion, and even tolerance for all types of people.  Watching Pedro Zamora on Real World San Francisco put a human face on gay rights and the AIDS epidemic, and it definitely gave me a better understanding at a young age of why there should be equal rights for all.  But The Real World series was the beginning of the end of MUSIC VIDEO TELEVISION.  When is the last time ANY of us have seen a video on MTV??

When a large musical figure dies, that’s when.  The first example of this was June 25, 2009- the world lost Michael Jackson.  MTV then played his large catalog of music videos for THREE DAYS STRAIGHT.  At the time my daughter just turned 1, and we had a nonstop dance party for those three days; and let me tell you it was a glorious thing.  Because nowadays, MTV is busy polluting our airwaves with audio and visual assaults on our senses like Jersey Shore, and capitalizing on the lack of sex ed in high schools and making a killing off of exploiting teen pregnancy with 16 & Pregnant, and the multiple Teen Mom spinoffs.  Now don’t get me wrong, I totally watch that shit, but seriously- why does a channel that doesn’t even play music videos anymore get to have a VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS???  My husband asked me last night- where can you even watch videos anymore?  YouTube, that’s where.  So where’s the category for most YouTube hits???  

Again, it just makes me long for the days of yesteryear when my two favorite opposing boy bands and pop princesses were duking it out, one always more poorly dressed than the other, and gave showstopping killer singing and dancing performances.  One of my all time faves (don’t hate me, Backstreet sisters) will always be *NSYNC when they did “Bye Bye Bye” with the video monitors.  So where is THAT innovation these days???  Stevie Ryan tweeted last night that Taylor Swift’s performance looked like an Old Navy commercial, which was spot on- get your own idea! And that song is SO FUCKING STUPID!!!!!!!!!  ENOUGH!  It makes me really disappointed in the next generation that they are taking all of this crap at face value and gobbling it up… makes me fear for the future.  Both the music AND the fashion is on a rapid decline, and there was a point when I just had to change the channel. 

A Fan, Not A Fool

It is common knowledge to anyone who’s ever known me that I am a Backstreet Boys “enthusiast,” to put it mildly. I’ve traveled this great country and beyond going to their various events, making great friends along the way. One of these great friends is this little spitfire we’ll call MJ. She’s a pint sized dynamo- smart, educated, driven, witty, and a fellow Backstreet Boys fanatic. We met on the 2011 Backstreet Boys Cruise and immediately formed this indescribable bond; we saved each other from the lackluster that was the cruise experience, and we continue to talk, email, and text on almost a daily basis. It’s like I’ve known MJ my entire life! I really love and treasure our friendship.

Over the past couple of months, with more and more Backstreet Boys related events happening and on the horizon, we’ve had many discussions about the inflated price to get a “piece of the action.” It’s getting really out of hand, especially for those of us who’ve had to combat the recession and have families to support. 

This morning was the Backstreet Boys “comeback” performance on Good Morning America; all five band members reunited, singing our old favorites and announcing their new album and plans for a 2013 cruise.  Most of our “fangirl” friends are overjoyed by the news, and they’ll be there, just like they were physically there this morning (and not just watching from home), there at Mix Tape Fest, and at all of the other events they’ve had.  My close friends all have the same consensus about Backstreet Boys Cruise 3.0, but MJ had an especially strong reaction.  She’s been wanting to write this post for Pop Culture and Caffeine for a while, so here it is.  She’ll always be a fan, but she’s done being a fool. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Cruise fee: $2,000

Flight to Florida: $600

Cab to dock: $40

Drinks on cruise: $250

Nick Carter VIP: $150

Hotel for Nick Carter Concert: $237

Mix Tape Side A: $750

Mix Tape Side B: $500

Mix Tape Hotel: $637

Flight for Mix Tape: $300

BSBBQ: $250

BSB Takes New York Sneak Peak: $200

“Bronze” Access for New York: $100

Cruise 2013 fee: $2,000 AT A MINIMUM, for a trip that is a day less than last time

Total: $8,014

Dear Backstreet World,

$8,014 in less than a year that BSB has charged for access to their events (and this is on the low end). How delusional have we become? In what economic time do we all think we live in to think that, in any way shape or form, this is a worthy way to spend our money?

This is NOT the 90’s and we are all not rolling in cash. We live in apartments and can barely make rent or are married with children. So why, oh why, do we continue to let this band contribute to how freaking broke we are?

Do they not ALREADY have MILLIONS? Why do the fans have to pay $500 bucks or more to be VIP for a day just to get close and have a 2.2 second interaction with guys who claim that they love their fans when, in reality, they see us all as dollar signs? These guys must literally laugh their freaking ways all the way to the bank before they stop at their mansion in California where they have six Rolex watches encrusted with diamonds. 

Before we all go and defend how much they love their fans, please consider this: If they didn’t see us all as a huge pay day, then why do they charge so freaking much? Do they not know that we are in a recession? Or do they know and just not care, because they know that they have dedicated fans who will do anything for them? 

Yes, oh yes, BSB fans. I DID just go there. The answer is that they have fans who will spend every last penny they have to get close to them and until fans put their foot down and say NO this is BEYOND RIDICULOUS, those prices will continue to get higher and higher. 

So when is enough, enough? What happened to the band who put a cap on the prices for their Millennium concert to keep it reasonable for their fans? Where did those guys go and who are these guys who will literally milk their fans for everything down to being in the same freaking room as them?

I have found myself becoming less and less of a fan because of this. I didn’t even attend half of these events and I am still abhorred by the numbers and the fact that fans have actually spent this much. I find myself laughing at the way I used to be and the amount of money I used to spend on this band. No wonder we get made fun of so much, we bring it upon ourselves. 

Don’t get me wrong, if the opportunity presented itself to actually interact with them for a reasonable price, I would jump on it. I am and always will be a big fan.

But at some point, enough is freaking enough. $200 freaking dollars to be able to take a picture with them and 9 OTHER PEOPLE? A Q&A session where the same questions get asked and yield the same freaking answers? I am sorry, but I am a big girl now, I have my big girl panties on too, and I can think of a MILLION OTHER BETTER WAYS to spend my money that do not leave me wondering how I will put food on the table tomorrow. 

So, BSB, peace out. Unless you start actually thinking about your fans, I am DONE giving in to your ridiculous prices and overrated events. Go find someone else to take advantage of, because this fan has had more than she can take. 

Why? Because We’re F*cking Hilarious, That’s Why!

So in a tip of the fedora to my last Gavin DeGraw post, the lineup for Mix Fest (an annual concert put on by Mix 104.1, a local Top 40 radio station) was announced a couple of weeks ago, and guess whose headlining??  The sexiness that is Gavin DeGraw, Andy Grammer, and Train!  The concert is free on the Esplanade in Boston on September 8th, however- for $200 I can Meet and Greet with Sexual White Chocolate and the other two headliners!!!! My loins twingled in excitement- only to realize my husband would probably punch me in the face if I spent that $$ to go to a free show, so like I had to do with Mix Tape Festival (aka my blog’s culmination), I bid the idea adieu and went about my merry way with being a responsible adult. 

Now they have just announced a preshow with Matchbox 20, a band which Lydia apparently dies over.  Lydia and I share a LOT the same ideals, specifically a love affair with all the right things Pop Culture, so she’s now a managing admin of the blog page of Facebook.  She’s fucking hilarious, and her hilarity peppered with sarcastic wit needed to be shared with the world! (well, at least the 41 people who follow my page, anyway!) 

Today I log into Facebook to see her multiple posts exhibiting her wanton desire to obtain a pair of these Matchbox 20 preshow tickets, and come up with a GENIUS idea- Mix 104.1 should have our awesome asses come in and totally cover the show for the blog! 

This is definitely Pop Culture and Caffeine worthy- and I get so much feedback, and related Twitter follows on each post!  It’s a win/win- Mix 104.1 will get a hilarious documentary of the show as only the two of us can give it, and we’ll get to touch EVERYONE.  *insert horny grin here*   

Plus, the last time I went to a Mix Fest was when it WASN’T free- in 2002, at the then Fleet Center, and I thought Avril Lavigne was gonna bang me out at the CD signing cause I was macking on that hot guitarist of hers, Evan Taubenfeld (probably because they were banging… I mean, they had to be banging!  She would’ve been silly not to bang him, though I think we are starting to see that her taste in men is more than questionable)!

DO IT, Mix 104.1!!! You save me from getting punched in the face by my husband for spending frivolously, and you make Lydia’s 10 year dream come true by granting her wish to see Matchbox 20 live!

If you support our mission to get Pop Culture and Caffeine behind the scenes at Mix Fest, leave your support in the comment section, and RT and share the hell out of this post on Twitter and Facebook!

Why?  Because we are fucking hilarious, that’s why!

Damn Gavin Does It Well, And I Thought He Was Innocent!

I’m going to try my best to keep this post from being a 50 Shades of Gray-esque novella, but I can’t promise anything.  My mind is still all over the place from trying to digest all of the sexiness that is Gavin DeGraw.  As you all know, I have quite the relationship with his music, but because I have such intimacy with his songs I apparently never opened my eyes to HIM, and WOW.  Just… WOW. 

Let me start from the beginning. 

I live in this little obsolete place in the United States that becomes hell in the summer time. People from all over the world ascend on our quiet little homeland and turn it into this tourist laden inferno by clogging up our bridges and rotaries, making it haphazard to drive just about anywhere.  Welcome to Cape Cod.  Well, one of the little novelties of Cape Cod is our venue for performers, which is called the Melody Tent.  Its this circular (obviously tented) outdoor venue where up and comers, has beens, and could’ve beens perform every year on a seasonal basis.   I would have to guess its capacity tops off at a few thousand people, and there isn’t a bad seat in the house. Typically not too many big names or current pop culture relevancy’s come there (though we do get lucky once in a while- my sexually promiscuous hero Chelsea Handler was here 2 years ago) so I was SHOCKED and elated when a show for Gavin DeGraw and Colbie Caillat was announced. Obviously it sold out… but obviously I was going to be there!!!  We all know that the melodies penned by Mr. DeGraw hold a special place in my heart and soul, providing soundtracks to some of my more important moments. 

I was excited the entire week prior to the show to see Gavin for the first time.  Basically my Twitter timeline from the past week is Gavin, Gavin, Gavin, some news RT’s, Gavin, a BSB tweet, and Gavin.  I’ve been having Gavin listening marathon’s in the car everywhere I go, on Pandora at my office, with even my 4 year old daughter putting in her requests for her favorite Gavin song (which is Not Over You, in case you were wondering).  I was going to the show with the anticipation to have this emotional awakening, and possibly hysterically sob in overjoyment.  What actually happened was quite different.

We were a few minutes late, because honestly I was expecting Gavin to go on last- not to be rude or mean (like the bracelet guy at the Melody Tent told me I was being), but Gavin is the bigger name, and typically you save the best for last.  Especially where he has several upbeat songs, and Colbie’s music is more of the type that either you drive around in la la land to, or the kind of music that rips your heart out and stomps it on the floor while you cry your eyes out.  So we are literally walking up and you can hear a guy talking, and then all of the sudden I hear “Sweeter” start playing, and I basically charged the place like it was the running of the bulls in Spain!!! We get to our seats, and OMG THERE HE IS!!!  He’s SO CUTE!!!!  So cute…. wait, are those abs I see through his shirt??  And pecs??  And WHY IS HIS BACK SEXY!?!!??!?!?  All of the sudden, the temperature really rose in the Melody Tent.  Put it this way- one of the people I attended the show with is a lesbian, and even SHE was in TOTAL AWE of what a sexual being he is.  The way he moves is so fluid, so sexual (SO sexual), and basically at this point all I want to do is climb under Gavin DeGraw.  WOW. I really cannot process that he is such a sexual creature.  Still can’t.  And I keep asking the question DOES HE KNOW HE LOOKS LIKE THAT????  I feel like he doesn’t, but he must.  And I cant even lie to you, I don’t even know what the three songs he sang were after Sweeter, because I was transported to this soundless place of awe… and I am pretty sure that I had a few uncontrollable outbursts that the people around us didn’t appreciate, but I really don’t give a shit.  DO THEY KNOW HE LOOKS LIKE THAT!?!?!??! 

When he sang Follow Through (which is the song I walked down the aisle to when I married my husband), I squeezed my counterparts so tightly and just basked in hearing a song live that means so much to me.  And for a split second, I wished my husband was there to enjoy it with me… and then I looked up and saw how ridiculously sexy Gavin was, and decided it was for the best that he stayed home!!!

His set was incredible, his voice just as velvety and sultry live as it is on his records, and it went by entirely too fast.  My first time seeing Gavin DeGraw DEFINITELY will not be my last!

There was an hour intermission before Colbie Caillat came on, and that was a good thing because my brain was on overload trying to process the visual that is Gavin DeGraw.  And when she came on… I wasn’t ready for that, either.  She’s GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!  She has to have the most perfect legs on a woman I’ve ever seen… and she’s wearing this teeny little coral dress (which I’m dying to know where its from so I can buy it), perfect tan, fringe boots, with her blond hair effortlessly tied back in a ponytail.  So effortless, but she looked amazing.  So now I’m gaping at her, and wondering why this wasn’t billed the Sexy Lovers Tour or something. [sidebar: I hope that her and Gavin are banging, because they are both too good looking to not be enjoyed by each other!!!  They would be DUMB to not be banging each other right now!!!!!]  Past the aesthetics, she also has a beautiful voice and put on a nice show.  I was a little disappointed, because the one song of hers that I LOVE (one of those rip your heart out and throw it on the floor while you hysterically sob songs) she mashed with a Lauryn Hill song and made it all upbeat, and I didn’t love it.   

I went home still trying to process the sexiness that is Gavin DeGraw, but was very careful to omit that part of the concert where Gavin DeGraw is sexual white chocolate when recapping the show to my husband (not that I’m trying to hide that I find him ridiculously attractive, but I just wouldn’t have shut up ever about it, and we both needed to go to bed for work today). So he heard how amazing Gavin was, how hot Colbie was, and how much fun I had with my girlfriends.  And this morning, it was back to my Gavin DeGraw-less grind. Le sigh. Woke up, got dressed, got my little girl up and dressed, and went about our normal business.  Right before I started work I checked my emails and social networks, and Gavin DeGraw in all his sexiness following me on Twitter!!!!!!! Though he didn’t answer my tweets about how ridiculously sexy he was… but that’s OK, cause damn, damn Gavin does it well…and now he knows that I know :-D

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