I always have a story. Always. But this time, its painful. The only reason I’m sharing is because you’ll all see the extreme humor in my suffering. I, on the other hand, wish the story came without the suffering.
Sunday June 2, 2013 was EPIC. THE PACKAGE TOUR. THE DIRTY DOZEN. Boyz II Men, 98°, & my hometown boys NKOTB brought the mother fucking house down with their mother fucking sexiness. You HAVE TO see NKOTB in Boston, because they always give us MORE. This night was no exception. They were hot. They were sexy. They were pelvic thrusting. And I, as all of you would expect me to be, was half drunk and flailing all over the place in all my regressive teenage glory. And when I say flailing, I mean flailing. Imagine, 5 feet and 11 inches of limbs flying uncontrollably all over the place, accompanied by a scream so shrill it rivals my 4 year old daughters. At one point, I actually peed my freaking pants. Yes, ladies and ladies, I’ll cop to it. I got so excited, I peed. *That actually happens.* The story of what happened when I ran to the nearest mens room to rectify the situation may or may not be worthy of its own blog post. Regardless, that’s a different story for a different day!
So after all the drinking, flailing, pelvic thrusting, and peeing was done, I woke up on Monday a HURTING buckaroo. Sore everywhere, hobbling all over the place, my pinky toe nail was even stomped off. Monday was ROUGH. But so was Tuesday. And I was really sore in my neck, back and shoulders… didn’t sleep at all that night from the discomfort. Today was so bad that I was having problems working at my computer, so I ran to the doc to have it checked out.
So in all my drinking, flailing, and peeing, I pinched a nerve and slipped a disc in my neck. Its so bad that the doctor was amazed that I don’t have a history of neck and back problems. Seriously?????? Because I wanted to rip my clothes off when Joey Mac sang ”Please Don’t Go Girl??” Because all of my limbs flailed like I was having a psychotic episode when 98° broke ”The Hardest Thing” out of their arsenal??? Or was it because when Boyz II Men sang ”Water Runs Dry,” I may or may not have injured my entire row in excitement??? It may have been because Donnie Walhberg started humping the stage and I might have had a blackout of ecstasy…
The doctor got a laugh when I answered his question about how I spent my Sunday. The nurse was jealous!! And I am HURTING. This could be a fairly serious injury here… And if I have to have surgery, I want all members of the self proclaimed ”Dirty Dozen” pelvic thrusting at me in recovery!!!! 10 TIMES!!!!!!!!!! You hear me boys???